A SENSE OF HOME

Our earliest psychological memories and earliest expression of who we are, hinges on a sense of home.  Home means safety and security. 

Security is both feeling and reality, in reality you can be safe at home but you may not feel safe at home.  

The psychology of security is intimately tied to how we think, both intellectually and emotionally.

Security is always a trade-off. ~ Bruce Schneier

He writes that he remembers in the weeks after 9/11 a reporter asked, "How can we prevent this from ever happening again? That's easy," I said, "simply ground all the aircraft." 

Of course, that is ludicrous in the world we live in, so a trade off was necessary. 

Due to factors beyond our control, have we experienced a trade off? Emotionally are we staying in an unsafe environment or a violent environment for fear of losses, maybe the fear of losing our children?  Have we become numb to the risks that surround us? Are we making a bad security trade off?

Why else would women place their health in danger by staying with a man who is sleeping around? They place other priorities above their own safety, this is a bad security trade-off.

For many of us to thrive and grow we must feel safe. Therefore, for those who have been the victims of violence and abuse this is all the more important to understand.

Psychological safety is fundamental to our growth.

What are common threats to psychological safety? 

Sarcasm, lecturing, put-downs, outbursts, public humiliation, negative tone of voice or body language, inconsistency, unfairness, rigidity, favouritism, endless rules and regulations; infantilizing treatment, blaming and shaming. 

We are all vulnerable to these kinds of behaviours from others.  People who have been psychologically unsafe while growing up are particularly vulnerable to being greatly re-injured by psychological torments, and to adopting behaviours that have been inflicted upon them in the past. These common threats so often lead to other damaging behaviour such as violence, adultery and even rape.

How do you feel as you near home after a day at work or school?  Is there fear and dread or is there a sigh of relief; a sense of safety and security?

 Website: www.lifeline.org.za

Read more: http://www.southafrica.info/services/crisishelp.htm#ixzz2kXaXHxkt

References:http://www.sanctuaryweb.com/safety.php

Schneier, B. The Psychology of Security, 2008