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“Bitterness feeds on the carcasses of festering memories.” - P.Michelson
No one wants to be bitter. It sneaks up on us. Bitterness is unforgiveness which has fermented over time. The more we hold onto past hurts, the more we become drunk on our pain, making poor choices and speaking badly of others.
Bitterness will always chase away love in your heart and your life.
While the original fault lies elsewhere, that person or persons may not change. You are responsible for your life and happiness now, and you need to let go of the bitterness.
Even if you feel you have grieved the losses that led to your bitterness:
1. Stop and spend some time grieving again.
2. Make a conscious effort to stop the ruminations and expressions of bitterness in your life. Don't give these thoughts the space.
3. Forgive. The therapeutic concept of forgiveness is to recognize injustice, then let go of the anger and resentment. This type of forgiveness will not affect the right/wrong elements of your issues. Forgive for your sake. We are the wire and God is the current.
According to St. Augustine, forgiveness is simply the act of surrendering our desire for revenge; that is, our desire to hurt someone for having hurt us.
4. Recognize and develop an attitude of gratefulness. Our lives did not stop at the point of our hurt; we have life, now choose it!
Our past with certain people whether ex- spouses, estranged brothers, sisters or parents can create a core of pain inside which we wrestle with in the course of life.
We will often react as we have always done and that is not always a good thing. The cycle needs to be broken and it is our recognition of our own bitterness that will stop it.
An old man once said, " My experience has shown me that I all too often tend to deny that which lies behind. But I still believe, that which is denied cannot be healed."
I do not want these to be words I utter in old age. Let us look back and deal with our root of bitterness.
Buechner said it best:
"I am inclined to believe that God's chief purpose in giving us memory is to enable us to go back in time so that if we didn't play those roles right the first time round, we can still have another go at it now. Memory makes it possible for us to both bless the past, even those parts of it that we have felt cursed by."
Joy is what happens when you let go of bitterness.
Burnt but not bitter.
Resources :
Popcak, G . Overcoming Bitterness, 2013
Phillips, B. Another Toxic Emotion : Bitterness. 2013
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