PRIMA DONNA

A Prima Donna suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).  She is often accused of being a "drama queen" with no joke intended. She is the person who grabs the microphone, hogs the limelight, always changes the subject to herself, behaves outrageously, has tantrums and generally refuses to be ignored. She is a handful.
                                                             

Her cry is “PRAISE ME”:

P – with provocative (or seductive) behaviour
R – believes relationships are more intimate than they are
A – must be the centre of attention
I -   is influenced easily
S -  speech (style) - wants to impress but lacks detail
E – is an emotional liability, extremely shallow

M - make-up – over exaggerated  physical appearance used to draw attention to self
E -  exaggerated emotions – is theatrical
outofthefog.net

HPD is characterized by a long-standing model of attention seeking behaviour and excessive emotionality.

As a family member or friend, you realize that:

1.     Important problems or concerns take a back seat to trivial, fabricated or exaggerated problems pushed forward by our Prima Donna.

2.     You find yourself making excuses or covering up abnormal and embarrassing public behaviour. Our Prima Donna may be sexually seductive or provocative to draw attention to herself. This is extremely embarrassing for the family and others. Our Prima Donna sexualises everyone and every situation. She constantly acts flirtatious, provocative and seductive, even when such behaviour is highly inappropriate.

3.     You find her rapidly cycling between erratic emotional highs and lows without pausing through normal.

4.     Other healthy relationships and activities you enjoy outside the relationship are seen as competitive and discouraged, belittled or forbidden by her.

Research suggests that there is a slightly increased risk for HPD being “passed down” to her children. This I believe is an aspect of modelling; therefore provocative behaviours are often visible especially in female offspring.

As the partner of a Prima Donna, life is a continuous challenge as she may seek to control through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, whereas displaying a clear dependency at another level. This is extremely trying and tiring as incessant behaviour.

If positive attention is not forthcoming our Prima Donna is often just as interested in attracting negative attention, including shock, anger, outrage, shame, guilt and remorse.

Most adults learn to self-regulate these attention-seeking instincts by considering their other long-term interests such as the advantages of stable relationships, but our Prima Donna  is compelled to be the life of the party. If she fails in achieving this pivotal role, she will act out, create hysterical scenes, or confabulate i.e. to fill in gaps with fabrications that she believes to be facts.

Our Prima Donna’s conduct is often ill-received; hugging casual acquaintances, shouting out at concerts; uncontrollable sobbing in public or having temper tantrums is annoying and even outright repulsive. Consequently, she is sometimes subject to social reproach and barring.

For her, she is using this excess and blatant emotionality to gain the attention she craves, but her intensity and unpredictability are exhausting. Our Prima Donna is so unhealthy that she is typically accused of being a fake. It is ironic that she often mistakes the depth, durability and intimacy of her relationships and is devastated by their inevitable early finale.

Keeping our Prima Donna happy often feels like filling a Black Hole or emptying the ocean. Fear, Obligation and Guilt are experienced by those up close and personal.

As an aside, I would like to mention an interesting article I pondered this week by Amy Simpson and found thought provoking:

“I love the church, and I’m a huge fan of the many ways God has used Christian people as a force for good in this world. But sometimes, in our ignorance, stubborn misconception, corruption, laziness, fear, or very human desire to believe we deserve a better life than others; we actually become a serious part of the problem. We need to counsel our church members to seek professional help for mental health issues. This will never take away from praying to Our Father, just as visiting a medical doctor does not.  - See more at: http://amysimpsononline.com/2013/09/evangelicals-youre-wrong-about-mental-illness/#sthash.6ItKDuvv.dpuf

 

References:

outofthefog.net

Vaknin, S, Malignant Self Love, 2008.