AN EXODUS STORY

Most are familiar with the story of the Israelites fleeing from Pharaoh, crossing the Red Sea and heading towards a Promised Land. 

I believe it is important to carve out our own Exodus Story - a personal legend about what has happened to us in the past, what is happening to us now.

 

Our personal ‘Egypt’ may be our tight restrained place, a place where we are confined and restricted; where we are enslaved by inflexible roles, behaviours and mindsets; any place that restricts or diminishes our inner world – from this position change becomes not only a suggestion but a necessity.

Freedom is achieved by first recognizing the places in our lives where we are enslaved, and secondly working freeing ourselves from such slavery. Are we a slave to our ego? Are our jobs taking priority over our family lives? Are we in an abusive situation?

As we mature, it is like peeling an onion, our lives can be rediscovered one layer at a time. We have a need to stop and spend time asking ourselves true questions.

Who am I?

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

Viktor Frankl states that when we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.

 

 

So begins the challenge of change and here are some pointers along the way:
 

1.    Resistance to change

     There will always be resistance to change from within and without. Courage is necessary to bring about change. We are moving towards an unknown and many of us shy away from change.

2.    Setbacks

There is always a tug-of-war between the old and the new. Others may stand in our way and behaviours and tolerance levels may need to change.

3.    Feeling and Expressing of Pain

We have possibly grown numb to our pain as we have learnt to endure things we ought not to have accepted; breaking out of these unhealthy patterns may be painful.

4.    From Impasse to Breakthrough

Just like the final push of ‘labour’ we are both fearful and awe-inspired. When we have made our decision to change and move forward both of these emotions will be present.

 

-        What are your hopes and dreams?

-        Imagine what the change will look like in your life and circumstances, it may feel like an abyss to begin with but step by step it will become your ‘new normal’.

Jung refers to an awakening of the larger Self, an awakening happens when we learn that we are not defined by our history we move forward towards who we are truly meant to be. Some believe this can be done purely through the Self but personally I needed to believe Jesus, who helped me through.

 

MY EXODUS STORY

Throughout the 25 years of my marriage; lies, criticism, tantrums were the order of the day, but because of my Ex’s unyielding schedule, he did not spend much time in the home which was a relief. When he did, his behaviour was often bizarre. His energy was focused on himself, his work, his ambition etc. If my role was played out well, there was a semblance of peace; I accepted the restrictions and the put down of my inner self as my children’s safety and security took precedence.

I am the "Mother of his children" but when his children had grown and were leaving home, I became redundant to him. I had stood behind and supported him, worked for him as he launched a new career, as he fulfilled his dreams, as he made a fortune. He was at the pinnacle of his career and he needed a new trophy, he found a mistress! He felt he could have it all and keep the “Mother of his children” tucked away in a sleepy town, just in case...

I found myself in that restrained place, enslaved by inflexible roles, behaviours and mindsets.

I had somehow lost my value, my identity and my dignity. There was a need for change but what resistance within!  The setbacks were massive as I journeyed through a lengthy divorce and felt the enormity of my pain and my anger.

The Breakthrough has become my story; Mom’s tell of the birth of their children; my Story is my place of re-birth.  I am becoming who I ‘ought to be’ and wish to help others along my journey.

Cloud & Townsend state:  “Sometimes on the road of life…getting lost is how we find our way”- this is truth in my Exodus Story.

“RIVER OF UNKNOWING”

Tentatively

I tip my toe

into the river of the un-knowing

innocently

I feel for the rhythms

of a transformation’s under towing

wantonly

I open and I open

like a seed that’s ripe for sowing

somehow I taste the freedom

and relief

that I don’t know who I am

and I don’t know where I’m going

-Treasure Miller

Our “Exodus moments” become our source of strength and salvation for future life.