We all know what junk food does to our bodies; imagine what junk/destructive feelings do to our hearts.
It is essential to understand that we all have a right to
everything we feel, we feel it therefore it is our truth.
Just as we do not feed our physical bodies heaps
of junk food, we certainly do not want to be feeding our hearts (our emotional
centre) junk.
Destructive emotions need to be identified and skilfully handled in order to bring them under submission. We all have these feelings but we need to learn the skills to control and direct them:
DOUBT
I have noticed that there are two types of doubt:
- Doubt that incapacitates - you become frozen with fear of failure or even fear of success.
- Doubt that makes a person go into overdrive - you work extremely hard and never make time for enjoyment. There is constant stress and worry because you doubt your ability. You believe that if you relax, you will lose everything.
The problem with doubt is this: you can never really know
what the outcome of your decisions will be, that is out of your hands. But the person who never takes a risk, however small, will not be moving forward. At some
point, you’ve got to take a risk.
Doubting that doubt is often helpful i.e. question your
own doubt.
ANGER
The following is referenced from the best book I have
ever read on anger:
Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and
always deserves our respect and attention. As has been mentioned, we all have a
right to everything we feel - and certainly our anger is no exception.
If feeling anger signals a problem, venting anger
negatively does not solve it. So there are questions about
anger that may be helpful to ask ourselves:
“What am I really
angry about?”
“What is
the problem, and whose problem is it?”
“How can I sort out who is responsible for what?”
“How can
I learn to express my anger in a way that will not leave me feeling helpless
and powerless?”
“When
I’m angry, how can I clearly communicate my position without becoming defensive or attacking?”
“What
risks and losses might I face if I become clearer and more assertive?”
“If getting angry is not working for me, what can I do differently?”
(The
Dance of Anger – Harriet Lerner)
FEAR
President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The
only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
We have turned fear into a real ‘boogie man’ in our day
but Karl Albrecht states that it is not that complicated; fear is “an anxious feeling, caused by our anticipation of some imagined event or
experience.”
Speaking truth to ourselves will help to dispel fear. If we can make sense of the feeling or experience, we have a better chance of controlling our reaction.
“What if?” If there is no
answer, lay it to rest.
This may be a solution in its simplest
form but we can build up to those more complicated fears when we have a
starting point.
Joy, hope, peace and love be yours.
“Before you
can win, you have to believe you are worthy.” - Mike Ditka
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