THE SOUND OF SILENCE

A tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it….does it make a sound?

The definition of sound is "something that you hear." No one's there to hear the tree fall…is there sound? 

I realised in reading this that it is an astonishing picture of periods in my life when I feel alone. Have you ever felt like “no one has heard the tree fall” in your life, no one really acknowledges your crisis or loss: you feel so alone in an experience that it is as if no one noticed…there was no sound, no one sees your pain? 

We need someone to acknowledge our pain, to be there for us so that we can share and find meaning in our experience.

We need others. We need fellowship i.e. “the condition of sharing similar interests, ideals, or experiences, as by reason of profession, religion, or nationality or the companionship of individuals in a congenial atmosphere and on equal terms”.

 

 

 
 
 

Loneliness has negative connotations in our society and manifests in a sense of isolation. 

We feel that there is a void but at the same time must acknowledge that it is possible to be with the wrong people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness.

Solitude on the other hand, is something you choose. Solitude restores body and mind where as loneliness seems to deplete them.

Paul Tillich believes that loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone. 

Subsequently, we begin to realise that there is more here than mere words; our minds need to engage with this in order to make sense of “being alone”.

It would seem that there is a journey, a path and a wilderness to walk through and the challenge of this journey is in finding our way from a place of loneliness, this wilderness to a place of solitude.

Henri Nouwen states in his Pathways to Life and the Spirit that a waiting person is someone who is present to the moment, believing that this moment is ‘the’ moment. He leads us to believe that living in the present is the means of navigating this pathway we seek. Enjoying each moment for what it holds.

 

 

 
 

Isolation is aloneness that feels forced upon you, like a punishment. 

Solitude is aloneness you choose and embrace (Jeanne Marie Laskas).  

I believe great things can come out of solitude; out of going to a place where all is quiet except the beating of your own heart. You have to search out that place of being…being comfortable, being by yourself in order to truly open yourself up to what you want most.

“The pain in loneliness comes from all that surrounds it, not the act itself. And when you spend enough quality time alone, you realize that it is indeed nothing to fear. You realize that you, by yourself, are happy and are confirmed in life and worth by everything around you. And though it will not take the edge off of the painful moments that lead to us being alone, it is worth reminding ourselves that just because we’re eating alone at a restaurant doesn’t mean we aren’t in wonderful company!” 

– C Fagan, Paris

 

 

 
 
 

In the waiting embark on this journey out of loneliness, ask the question; can we separate our being ‘alone’ from being ‘lonely’? Can we find comfort in being alone?

I have walked this road on many an occasion and am entirely a better person for it.